Hello World!

Hello world indeed!

Starting out in the blogging world … well. What can I say? It’s almost midnight and I’ve decided to start a blog. Why?

Because I want to write.

And generally, I’ll admit it, I’m useless at actually getting anything done.

So maybe. Just maybe. This might be a way to get my pretty lazy ass to write something. Anything. Everything.

So feel free to drop in and leave a note and see how I’m doing. Maybe as I continue in my blogging journey I’ll discover that writing might not be what the almighty universe created me for. Maybe I’ll find my purpose doing something else. Being something else. And writing won’t even feature. Ever.

(As you can see I have no idea where this is going to take me).

But bear with me. Don’t give up on me and I promise I won’t give up on you.

And together, as I rant randomly about all sorts of things, we’ll find out whether I’m meant to write for the rest of my life or whether I was meant to resume life as normal cleaning the floor at the local McDonalds. Either way, it should be a blast.

Almost Two Years On …

I had a little look back at one of the first posts I did and was surprised that it was actually around 2012! My how time passes so quickly.

It has been an interesting couple of years. To date, as of this moment, I am still working at the same job. Enjoying the same people. Living with new friends. Enjoying new things. I’ve lost 25 kilos and counting. My approach to health has changed radically and I’m glad that I’m in a better place committed to better living.

I still struggle with managing money. I am completely and utterly useless. The up side is that it keeps me humble. The downside is that I’m still feeding a very greedy part of who I am that doesn’t like to tell herself *no*.

But the writing. The one thing that I wanted to make sure that I maintained. The one thing that I wanted to really indulge in. Well. That’s the one thing that I really need to consider and rethink – is this something I really, REALLY, want to do?

From now until December I get to seriously reconsider whether or not I need to even keep dreaming and keep bothering. I need to think about where I am heading. Are there new dreams that I’ve been ignoring?

The time to find out is now.

How Far Can I Go? It Remains To Be Seen.

Thinking about how far I can go in terms of committing to things and getting things done has been entertaining. 

Here’s the first thing that’s getting done – looking after my physical well being.

As noted, I started the journey of looking after myself in October of last year. At that point I was 109 kilograms. As of today I’m 86.5. That in and of itself has been pretty amazing. I’m not following any particular diet rules except ones that seem to make sense and resonate with me. For example “all things in moderation” Yeah eat the chocolate. Drink that wine. Just not on the hour every hour for most days. I did have to farewell McDonalds and KFC though. I had to give myself the speech about how I’ve enjoyed a good 20 years of McDonalds eating and it’s ok to say goodbye. I’m not good with moderate Big Mac eating (that’s how I got to 109 in the first place). So we parted ways and continued on our respective paths. Being 22.5 kilograms lighter has it’s benefits. 

However, I’m still useless with money.

Running has definitely been something I’ve always wanted to do more of or be better at. Especially since I hadn’t run since, well, being a child in primary school. I love treadmill running. I won’t run around my neighbourhood due to my fear of dogs and poor lighting. Running on concrete also makes my joints a bit angrier than they should be.

What else could I possibly attempt? What else could I possibly do?

Oh there are so many things I’d love to consider. Where should I really start? With me? With getting myself balanced? It’s what I’m leaning towards. It’s what I’d like. Before jumping into anything else hugely I’d like to start with me.





I Didn’t Know What To Write



This is how I felt for a bit of a while. In sepia. A bit on the edge. With a lot of things to do. With a lot of people I had to do things for (and if I was being honest, I didn’t have to do a lot for others. That’s just how I “felt”. I needed a reality check).

Come October last year it came to a head. I was experiencing scary shooting pains in my arms. Incredibly stressed. Living on coffee and drive through food. Not sleeping. That kind of thing.

I took things into my own hands and began really trying to fix, at the very least, things involving my health. I’d talked and dreamed for years about being a smaller person. Believing that it would solve every single problem in my life. To date, I’ve lost almost 20 kilograms and counting. That was from last October. It hasn’t solved every single problem in my life. I do feel differently about myself though. Physically I feel pretty amazing. These things have not been bad things at all.

And I didn’t know what to write. During all that time. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to keep writing about. I still don’t know. And I didn’t want to be one of those blogs that turns into a how-I-lost-tons-of-weight. (There’s so many amazing ones. I don’t think you need one from me).

So at the moment I’m just one of those people purging my thoughts into a random atmosphere but I’m not sorry. I wanted to write. So I’m writing. Even if it’s to say I’m not sure what to say. 

There is one thing that I’ve definitely become interested in and that’s the idea of how far I can push myself. In anything. Especially the things that I’ve always dreamt about. All those things I’ve always wanted to do but never had the balls to attempt. Seriously losing weight is was one of those things and now I’m in the process of doing this. So what else am I capable of?

I’ve loved reading blogs about what people have been brave enough to do and are brave enough to admit they are struggling with. The journeys are amazing. So maybe that’s my writing journey for this blog? What am I capable of? 

I’m definitely interested in finding out.






The Man Who Acts

Fantastic inspiration for 2014 and . . . just life in general!🙂

The Better Man Project ™


The past year was a learning experience

You were tested

You wrote

You learned

But this year is a year of action

Of taking everything that you have learned over the past year and putting it to work

Your beliefs

Your skills

Your talents

There are lots of possibilities

Lots of options

Let’s be honest for a second

You really don’t know what you are truly capable of

Impossible is just something you haven’t found the solution to yet

It doesn’t mean that one doesn’t exist

So create it

Create the future

By acting in the present

Actions are the most valuable commodities on the planet

Words, even graceful ones, can be created by anybody

You can write them, speak them, post them anywhere to the world

But the man who acts – that man is invaluable

He gets things done

He works

He grinds

And he creates a beautiful…

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Forgiveness And Bridges

I hope you’ve had an amazing Christmas! This year, Christmas for me was awesome. Just straight up awesome. I loved being with my friends. I love my family. Christmas always reminds me of how blessed I am. I’m glad the universe chose them for me!

I’ve already reminisced about how this year has gone. It has been long and hard and I like to refer to it as the year of the cull. Marriages ended. Relationships finished. Employment dried up. And so on and so on. Over the last couple of days one of the other things I’ve been thinking about is forgiveness.

I am, by nature, quite the resentful type. If you can’t read my mind and know what I want I’ll resent that. If I have to spell things out for you I’ll resent that. What I’ve really resented over the last couple of years are the things I’ve done to myself and what I have let others do to me. I’ve also been ultra critical of what I have done to other people and I’m always worried about not being able to make right. So I’m resentful and it makes me bitter, if I’m being really honest. I put on the best possible face there is so I don’t have to really talk about this but there you have it. That’s what I am.

And I thought “you really need to build some bridges and get over stuff”.

I’ve been thinking about forgiveness due to the fact that the bitterness tends to secretly eat away at me. I like to think it’s secret but I do know that half the time it’s actually painted all over my features but the words that come out of my mouth are akin to something like “I’m fine. No, nothings wrong”

But there is.

So I need to really get over myself. Half the things I like to be resentful about are really small, tiny and pathetic. When I actually give those resentments a voice and they’re spoken into the air I sound like the small fool that I am. When I dig a bit deeper into why I let others do what they do I find that actually, I do it because I want something from them that I really need to create for myself. Things like self acceptance etc. You get the picture.

I’ve been reading some amazing stuff on MindBodyGreen lately. I’ve loved their articles about looking after yourself, about love and just about living realistically as your best self. Part of what made me think about building bridges and get over stuff already. Being vulnerable and being open to being my best self is on the agenda for 2014. Forgiveness and bridges – you’re up first.





Looking After Yourself During The Festive Season

I hope you’re enjoying the giant lead up to Christmas! Isn’t it crazy? All the things we put ourselves through just for the one day? I like to think of the whole of December as Christmas, culminating on the 25th. The 25th is also just a prelude to saying “thanks for being an (insert the appropriate description here) year” with the first of Jan just saying a hello to something new. 

Anyway, one of the biggest things I’ve decided to really get a handle on over the last month and a half is the fact that I don’t take care of myself and I need to. That part of being overweight is due to the fact I’m not taking care of myself. That not being organised with things is not looking after myself. When I’m beginning to breath in a way that’s not conducive to living in general (lots of shallow breaths because I’m anxious about whatever) I’m not taking care of myself.

Addressing things and confronting myself about why I do what I do and being honest with myself has being freeing. Saying goodbye to Big Macs and the Colonel’s secret herbs and spices has felt like madness! 

This summer I’m looking forward to being kinder to myself and looking after myself and remembering to look after myself. Getting enough sleep. Drinking more water. Get out into sunshine and enjoy life by the sea. Buy wonderful and amazing body butters and get pedicures and massages often. And savouring every bite of delicious food that comes my way via the 25th. 

I hope December is shaping up to be awesome! And hopefully you’re looking after yourself too. You deserve it🙂

Happy December!

It has been a CRAZY year. I’ll be honest. I’ll be glad to see the end of it.

That’s right. I’m already doing the how-did-it-go evaluation. I’m not waiting for December 31st. Too late then. Plus I’ll probably be asleep on a beach, hopefully in sunshine. I’m not planning to do a lot of thinking in that state.

First of all, thanks for still reading. Or at least sticking around! This community is just grade-a awesome. Super primo. Kick ass! Sharing is caring and I’ve loved what people share around here. Inspiring.

Some of the best things to have happened this year, for me personally, are all the changes. I’ve hated them and I’ve loved them. In the end, they’ve made a difference and taught me the lessons I needed at the time. 

I’ve loved the people in my life. I maintain that I am one of the luckiest punk asses in the world. Without hesitation, I put my hand up and happily state that I am not entirely responsible for the fact that I work with amazing people. Simply amazing. That I’m related to some of the best people in the world. That I am loved by some of the loveliest friends I could ever hope for. So gods be willing, I hope I never forget that. The day I do will be the day that things really take a turn for the worst. 

I hope that this year has brought you some really amazing stuff and introduced you to fantastic people. I hope you’ve really loved every minute of situations that made you happy and brought you real joy. That you weren’t standing there just documenting it with a device. That you got to drink it in and enjoy the whole of it for what it was. 

And I hope that you’re ready to wrap it all up and spend a very happy Christmas with the ones you love. 

Happy December!


Is Lorde Racist? Is Miley Racist? Thinking Out Loud About Racism

Here it is folks. Depending on what and who you read, both Lorde and Miley Cyrus are racist.

Lorde is racist because the references she makes in her smash hit “Royals” talks about indicators which are primarily descriptive of Hip Hop and it was noted that Hip Hop was started by and is an art form primarily dominated by black people. Therefore it’s a commentary that rags on black people according to Flores, who wrote the piece for Feministing.

I didn’t quite get it.  I can say that. I come from the same city as Lorde though, a 20 minute drive from her suburbs. I know we see the same types of things on TV.  So like her, I’m kinda like . . . yeah, I don’t care about diamonds in time pieces etc. I’ve done the whole count my money on the way to somewhere. I don’t come from money either. So when I’ve heard her song, that’s the context I’m hearing it in. We’re from the same place geographically. See the same types of things. When I watch some video clips (not all video clips) from overseas I feel the exact same way about excess and money. So when I hear the song, that’s what I think.

From a . . .

Whose perspective? Is it even fair to say a black person’s perspective? Rihanna comes from Barbados. Akon’s family is from Senegal. Nicki Minaj is from Trinidad.  All Pasifika people are not the same.  So . . .

So what do you do with that? Surely it’s really short sighted to say that all black people in the U.S are the same. That has got to be a giant fallacy. So Hip Hop was started by African Americans and is dominated by people who are from a . . . what kind of ethnic background . . . dark skinned?

So I did what most people do ~ I used Google and tried to find out something. Anything. To help me understand the situation. Here’s what went down.

I checked out the twitter feed for Flores. To start with. Which lead to cultural appropriation. Then critical race theory. To eventually reading about how Miley and her stunting at the VMA’s reinforced ideas about black women being unbridled in their sexuality and how she used black women, literally, as props on the stage.  Then there’s the institutionalized racism.

I’ve just finished regaling my afternoon reading exploits to my family who wanted me to stop sharing what I had found out. They genuinely felt tired thinking about it. Going back to look at the twitter pow wow Flores noted that Hip Hop is primarily a BLACK art form so criticsm of Hip Hop is racial. Period. So does that mean that to slag off certain art forms is to be racist?

What does that statement mean? I’m serious about that question. What is a black art form?

Maybe these are all the wrong questions.

But what does that even mean?

The knowledge that I’m trying to leverage to understand what I’m reading is what I live here in New Zealand. Auckland is one of the biggest Polynesian cities in the world. Not everyone here with a brown face is from the same place. People with brown faces can come from Samoa or Tonga or the Cook Islands or Fiji. They can be second generation, third generation islanders. They can be half caste children that can speak the language of their parents. I have nieces with blue eyes and blond hair but that doesn’t make them any less Samoan. A best friend that I have looks ‘white’ with a ton of freckles to boot but can speak and understand Samoan well. Her father was Welsh. Welsh people being completely different people from Germans or Swedes or Italians. She is not just ‘white’ or just ‘brown’. There’s all of these different cultural influences and traditions that she is extremely proud of, celebrates and recognizes.

So that is the knowledge of culture that I am leveraging and using to understand the accusations of racism being highlighted. I associate the idea of culture with very, very specific traditions and practices. Samoans don’t use the same amount of drums when doing a sasa as what say Cook Islanders use when performing. Maori people don’t use drums at all.


So there you go. I don’t get it.  Clearly I’m missing something here.

I don’t know.


I’ll keep googling.